Pawnee Pass 51k Adventure

Reflections // Pawnee Pass 51k Adventure

Through frost and flowers I moved

Evergreen branches glittering

As the light changed from dark to dawn

The last purple petals along the trail

Swaying and leaning toward sunrise

Waiting to be embraced by its warmth

Up and over the pass I went as the seasons changed

Witnessing three sunrises

As I moved down and around the ridges and beyond distant peaks

Over streams and to pause at the edge of lakes, Mirror and Crater

Each one creating a new relationship with the sun

I collected cold water from the creeks

Dipping my arms to keep them cool

Running then hiking

Up and down the trails

I thought of the words of Rumí

“Quit being a drop. Make yourself an ocean. // Abandon your ego and reap the Beloved’s devotion.”

“Become the sky and the clouds that create the rain, // Not the gutter that carries it to the drain.”

Trekking back up the pass

The final ascent before it was downhill from there

I meditated on what this venture into the wild had meant to me

What it represented, and the many interconnected actions over time that made it possible

For when we are intentional and strategic

And willing to try and try again

New realms open up to us

My body and mind working in unison

Cheering each other on… only a few more steps to go

And then it was done!

Around my neck hung two necklaces

A gold chain and mountain peaks, from my adventures up Colorado’s highest mountains in Leadville.

A silver split twig deer from after my rim-river-rim adventure in the Grand Canyon.

They represent where I’ve been, and all that made this day possible.

*Rumí quotes from The Rumí Prescription by Melody Moezzi

Recap and route:

I used to listen to the UltraRunner podcast and think, maybe, one day, I’ll be able to do an ultramarathon.

Ultramarathons range in distance from 50k (31 miles) to 100+ miles, often on trails or through deserts landscapes.

Up until this year, the longest distance I had done was a marathon (26.2 miles), having run the Kentucky Derby Festival marathon 2x and the Gay Games marathon in Paris in 2018.

This year, I set out to train on Colorado’s mountain trails, cross-train to build support muscles at the gym, and get my nutrition plan and supplies organized so I could do a self-supported 50k before the snow came.

Friday, September 6, 2024, I embarked from the parking lot just after 5:30a, and finished the 51k route in 10 hours, with over 7,600 feet of elevation gain!

I combined multiple trails to create my own route, which ended up being a 51k (32.49 miles. I’m calling it the Pawnee Pass 51k Ultramarathon.

-> Started at Brainard Lake Recreation area, went around lake to

-> Niwot Cutoff Trail, to

-> Jean Lunning Trail (goes over creek), to

-> Pawnee Pass Trail (up and over pass), to

-> Crater Lake Trail (visit both Mirror and Crater Lake), back out to

-> Cascade Creek Trail (take trail til your total mileage hits 17.25 miles - you won’t make it to Monarch Lake but you’ll be close)

-> Return route includes all of the above except Crater Lake Trail

There are multiple creeks to filter water from on both sides of the pass - so bring a water filter. I experienced a lot of direct sunlight so getting my sleeves wet helped keep me cool.

For nutrition, I do a 45-min schedule… 45-30-15-0. (Calories at 45 min, 1:30, 2:15, 3 hrs, repeat) Aiming for at-least 90 calories each time (I start with gels), sometime 200-300 with a protein bar or nut butter packet.

Lake Isabelle, Mirror Lake and Crater Lake all had lower levels of water than I’d seen before.

Ventures into the Wild: Walking in Beauty, Honoring All Life

In August 2024, Theo Edmonds and I spent time at the Grand Canyon south rim, lower Antelope Canyon, and the California coast from Big Sur to Monterey. It was an artistic exploration to understand how natural intelligence can inform and enhance our lives and work.

If any word can describe what I felt at the Grand Canyon, it would be Hózhó, a Navajo (Diné) philosophy and belief in “Developing pride of one's body, mind, soul, spirit and honoring all life.” It is a way of living in harmony - being one with and part of - the world around you. To walk in beauty, to create environments that are inclusive.

Along the Trail of Time that follows the south rim, one step represents a million years as you move through billions of years of history. Every step, a reminder that the small things we let hijack our thoughts are ever so trivial in the grand scheme of things. That our time here is precious - it is our most limited resource - something to be valued, savored and protected. Over the course of the trip, I took more than 165,600 steps.

For Theo, as a Culture Futurist®, one of his main lines of inquiry is to more deeply understand how human conception of time changes the way we approach innovation. In America, there may be no better place to learn more about this concept than those places where the natural environment radically leaves such clear visual indicators of time.

Below are photos, reflections, trail exploration notes, and more.

Personal Reflection // Grand Canyon

My mind was too excited to sleep

My spirit, energized

Out the door before the sun began to illuminate the horizon

Moving through light and shadow, across jagged edges and smooth surfaces

I felt a deep connection to this place

Trails I had traveled

Just not in this lifetime

My legs changing color

Layers of red dirt collecting

As my feet moved across millennia

I laughed, sang and cried

The vastness throwing open its wide embrace to me

Birds flew overhead

Lizards ran between rocks and across the trail

A family of deer ate breakfast on the ridge

Whispers from the past and present floated along the trails

In languages known and foreign to me

We all existed, there, together

In that moment

All that was and will be

Flowing across time and space

Millions upon millions of years

For with each step I moved through time and yet

Each step was now

Both can be true

In the Grand Canyon, I was…

Inspired to dream and push myself

Required to evolve and grow beyond what I knew.

Grand Canyon, South Rim

We spent 3 days at the Grand Canyon South Rim, staying at Maswik Lodge, just a short walk from the rim and multiple shuttle stops. The lodge worked out great for our stay and as a basecamp for Theo to work from. It also has a dining hall with multiple affordable options for meals to fuel your ventures into the canyon.

The first day, I did a rim-river-rim adventure, taking Bright Angel Trail down and over the Colorado River to Phantom Ranch, returning via South Kaibab Trail. I started at 4:25am and it took just over 6-hours total (5:24:34 moving time) covering approximately 20-21 miles (there was an error with my GPS in the canyon) with around 5,000 feet of elevation gain. There were places to get drinking water along Bright Angel and at Phantom Ranch, and restrooms at various points. This is by far the most well-maintained park I have ever visited! By the time I was coming back up S. Kaibab, the sun had risen and it started getting hot out with lots of direct sun exposure. It reached 101-103 degrees at the base of the Canyon that day, with storms blowing in shortly after Noon. Thankfully, I was done before then!

The second morning, we watched sunrise behind the El Tovar hotel, and then I followed the south rim west visiting the scenic overlooks along Hermit Road for multiple hours, taking the shuttle back so I could follow the Trail of Time east toward the Grand Canyon Visitor Center. Storms lasted from afternoon to evening, causing flash floods in the canyon. This page is updated daily with Grand Canyon 7-day weather forecasts.

Our last morning, I went to watch sunrise at Skeleton Point which is 3-miles down S. Kaibab Trail from the trailhead, parking at Pipe Creek Vista since the shuttles hadn’t started yet (adds 0.9 miles each way). It was breathtaking, and to make it even more magical, rain from the night before created small pools along the trail, reflecting the surroundings and sky. Of the two main trails, S. Kaibab offers more expansive views of the Grand Canyon. If you’d rather watch sunrise from the rim, walking the rim path along Hermit Road to one of the overlooks would also give you a great view. After sunrise, we drove 2.5 hours to explore lower Antelope Canyon, departing the following day for California.

See list of recommended adventure supplies at bottom of post.

The Havasu Baaja, People of the Blue Green Waters, or as they are known today, the Havasupai Tribe, have lived below the rim of the Grand Canyon for over 1,000 years. They see “humans as elements of the natural world, fully embedded within it. In their view, humans belong to nature.” - I am the Grand Canyon by Stephen Hirst

Antelope Canyon

On our third day in the Grand Canyon area, we drove to lower Antelope Canyon (2.5 hour drive). We did the 11am Deluxe Tour with Ken’s Tours, which limited our group to 6 people, and included a guided tour, learning about Navajo culture and traditions and lunch. Our guide Kelly was Navajo, and spent a lot of time with our group telling us about the history of the canyon and her people before lunch. Inside the canyon is magical and stunning with the colors changing throughout the day.

Our guide was great, pointing out the shapes of animals and silhouette of a Chief, and noting that the height of 1 finger held up against the canyon wall is roughly equivalent to 1,000 years. She also had us pose for photos at multiple spots. If you plan to visit upper or lower Antelope Canyon, book your tour in advance - tours are required to visit both, and can book days/weeks in advance.

Photo 1 by our tour guide Kelly, last photo by Theo of me going up one of the ladders in the canyon, all other photos by Josh Miller.

California: Big Sur, Carmel-by-the-Sea, Monterey

We drove from the Grand Canyon to Carmel-by-the-Sea, where we’d booked an Airbnb in Carmel Highlands that was on the edge of a canyon, and with a view of the water. The canyon had a redwood grove beside a spring, with some trees wide enough it would take multiple people linking hands to reach around them.

Two mornings were spent at the Point Lobos State Nature Reserve, which has been called “The crown jewel of the California State Park System.” It is a beautiful network of trails that go out along interesting rock formations with views of the shore and ocean - birds flying overhead, and people out hiking, taking photos or capturing the scene through painting. The second time I went, low clouds shrouded the park, giving Jurassic Park vibes - it was a lot of fun to explore.

The second day, we drove to Big Sur to hike in Andrew Molera State Park. The trail, an approximately 8-mile loop, includes over 1,300 feet of ascent, taking you up to look out over the ocean and nearby shores, before finishing your hike closer to the water. Both parks charge $10 entry, and open at 8am. That afternoon we visited Carmel-by-the-Sea, a town known for its welcoming attitude toward dogs (When I made a dinner reservation, they proactively asked if our dog would be joining us). They also have a High Heel Ban on heels over 2 inches. Apparently it isn’t enforced, but its still entertaining to think about.

The last day we went to Monterey, California after my trail run through Point Lobos. I rented a paddle board, taking it up the coast where Sea Lions and Sea Otters floated and ducked in and out of the kelp fields. The Sea Lions could be heard across the water, barking at each other from along the peer and the beach they’ve claimed. After paddle boarding, I walked a few miles up the Monterey Bay Coastal Trail, checking out the shops and scenery, and making it to Otter Point where Sea Otters were floating on their backs eating dinner. It was absolutely adorable. We finished the day back in Carmel-by-the-Sea at Terry’s Restaurant and Lounge, a “1929 landmark property previously co-owned by legendary Hollywood actress Doris Day and Carmel’s most esteemed businessman, Denny LeVett.”

Recommended adventure supplies:
*This list is not broadly applicable to Antelope Canyon, outside of your body and clothes the only thing you can take in is your phone or camera and a water bottle.

Satellite device - I have the Garmin inReach mini 2. Requires monthly subscription, but will allow you to signal SOS and have responders notified, it will also connect with your phone and allow you to send a limited number of short text messages when you don’t have service. (ie: I’m running late, but I’m all good)
Head lamp (For trails and walking around the rim in the dark)
Hydration pack (2L - get one with a little extra room for your other supplies)
Sunscreen (Mineral stick for face, Sport spray for body)
Water filtration system - Example of a similar one to what I have. At the Grand Canyon, I filled 1 bottle with creek water at Phantom Ranch as a backup and drank it on the shuttle after finishing at S. Kaibab because that trailhead doesn’t have drinking water and I had used all my fresh water.
Hiking boots or trail running shoes depending on your preference - I did these in trail running shoes.
Gaiters to keep out dirt/sand/rocks
Moisture-wicking shirt with SPF. I wear this one from Columbia and have it in 4 colors, it is easy to wash in the shower while traveling.
Hat, light-weight shorts or running tights, light-weight wool socks (or similar, I wear Feetures with my trail running shoes)
Trekking poles - I did not use these, but if you aren’t used to going up and down with a lot of elevation change, or want help with your balance, consider taking trekking poles with you!
Calories for your adventure! Protein bars (GoMacro Oatmeal Chocolate Chip are my fav), single serve nut butter packets, gel (I carry a Hammer flask with chocolate gel - flask comes with order), trail mix, etc. If you’re going to be out there for multiple hours like I was, consuming calories every 45 min - 1 hour 30 min is a good schedule to start with based on your pace and needs.
Calories afterward! Have protein powder or other nutrients waiting for you in the car of back in your room. Maybe stop and grab a burrito afterward - mine was delicious! REPLENISH!
Plastic bags (1G) - in case of rain, and to keep things protected from sweat.
Put your phone on DND (Do not disturb). 1) Enjoy the beauty of your surroundings, be in the moment, the world outside the experience can wait. 2) This keeps random messages from getting delivered during that 5 second blip when your phone gets service, that you won’t be able to respond to. Save yourself the stress of not being able to respond.

Ireland 2023

In July 2023, my husband Theo Edmonds and I spent 2 weeks in Ireland, arriving and departing from Dublin. We rented a car at the Dublin airport, and drove to Wesport for a few days before heading to Clifden and back to Dublin.

In Ireland, you drive on the left-hand side of the street, pair that with how narrow many of the roads are, and it was a bit stressful, especially the first day driving for multiple hours across Ireland after our flights! By the sixth day I was far more comfortable, just in time to drop off the car (scratch-free I might add) at the aiport before a week in Dublin.

Below are highlights from the trip including specific explorations, meals, and places we visited.

Achill Head and Keem Beach

Just over an hour drive from Wesport, Achill Head is the most western part of Ireland, and the Cliffs of Croaghaun are the highest cliffs in Ireland. We parked at Keem Beach, where parts of the movie The Banshees of Inisherin was filmed, and hiked up the cliffs for breathtaking views. There are sheep roaming all over the island and cliffs which enhanced the experience even more. Absolutely worth the drive!

**Croagh Patrick Heritage Trail and Pilgrimage Path (Westport)**

Our Airbnb outside Wesport was a few kilometers from Croagh Patrick, which is considered Ireland’s holy mountain. For my run/hike, I covered a total of 14 miles, including part of the Skelp trail, Croagh Patrick Heritage Trail that went through multiple miles of wet meadows inhabited by flocks of sheep, and up the mountain to the church at the peak. There was a cloud resting on the peak, and going up into it felt like I went into another realm, before making the trip back. If you do the Heritage Trail, be prepared for very wet shoes as its quite marshy. Overall, great experience and way to see the countryside from different vantage points.

Connemara

We drove from Westport to Connemara and stayed near Clifden. We visited Killary Fjord, Kylemore Abbey, 12 Pines Island, and the Connemara National Park.

Connemara was the home for many years to John O’Donohue, a favorite poet of ours, whose work - including poetry and writing- leaves a “legacy that directs our search for intimacy to crucial thresholds: tradition and modernity, past and future, life and death, the visible and the invisible world. At the heart of John's awakened beliefs was the premise that ancient wisdom could offer desperately needed nourishment for the spiritual hunger experienced in our modern world.”

FOR A NEW BEGINNING

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the grey promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

~ John O'Donohue, from Benedictus: A Book of Blessings

Dalkey (Hawk Cliff)

Less than an hour from Dublin by DART (and a short walk), Dalkey is a beautiful coastal town with beaches and swimming spots. The water was around 14.6 degrees celsius = 58.28 degrees fahrenheit, and absolutely worth the cold plunge. We walked from the DART station to swim, and then into town for seafood and lobster at Ouzos before grabbing some ice cream and taking the train back.

Dublin

We spent a week in Dublin, exploring the Botanical Gardens, Phoenix Park, museums (including the Museum of Archaeology), the riverfront, and more. Theo and I attended the 3rd International Conference of Possibility Studies with the theme Cultivating the Possible: Reimagining Education and Society where he presented on the role of Artists, Scientists and Business in Reclaiming A Sense of Wonder. Keynotes for the conference included Robert J. Sternberg, Roni Reiter-Palmon, Kim Wilkins and more.

Read Theo’s reflection on the conference

Read my reflection on the conference

While in Dublin, I celebrated by 35th birthday including a delicious dinner with Theo at Monty’s of Kathmandu, a traditional Nepalese Restaurant.

A few shopping spots I enjoyed:

The Collective Dublin (jewelry from Irish creators)
Siopaella (clothing, bags, accessories - vintage and pre-loved designer)
Dopl (shoes including Rick Owens).

Dining spots:

We met up with friends for dinner at Glas, a vegetarian pre-fix restaurant where we had one of the best desserts I’ve tasted in a long-time. It featured fired apricots, 3 types of sweet potato, ice cream and more! (Note: Presentation was beautiful, but this was not a super filling meal as someone who eats hearty portions and lots of protein.)
Brunch at The Washerwoman was delicious, including the black pudding (Traditional Irish dish also known as “blood sausage” usually made from pork or beef blood, pork fat or beef suet, and a cereal, usually oatmeal, oat groats, or barley groats). Theo had the steak sandwich that was quite good as well!
Sprouts, with multiple locations was a quick and yummy lunch while out shopping. I recommend the Middle Eastern Chicken salad.
Lunch at The Ivy on Dawson was one of the best meals we had in Dublin. From the truffle arancini to my salmon and smoked haddock cake with a poached egg and pea puree. Delicious!
Traditional Irish meal at John Kavanagh The Gravediggers was a great way to experience some delicious local nosh. Founded in 1833, the pub is still in the Kavanagh family who were welcoming and described everything on the menu as “gorgeous” which we loved.

Dublin Airport:

When departing, Dublin is one of the only international airports where there is US Preclearance with customs, which means you don’t have to wait in line in the US to clear customs, get your bags, re-check them, etc. Super convenient. The day we traveled, American Airlines check-in/drop off of checked bags didn’t open til 6am, US Preclearance didn’t open til 7am, and the terminal for our flights didn’t open til after 7:30am - our flight was at 9:30am. Line began forming at 5:30am for American Airlines bag check/check-in. If you only had a carry-on and check-in online you could have go ahead through the preliminary security to wait for US Preclearance to open before 6am.

Westport and Clifden

Our Airbnb in Wesport was a loft on the 2nd floor and looked out over the countryside and was a few km from town. While in Wesport we also went horseback riding.

Our Airbnb in Clifden was a beautiful two-bedroom cottage behind the main house, with horses roaming the yard and lush greenery surrounding it.

The weather throughout the two weeks was unseasonably wet, with rain every day. We had a few days with multiple hours of sun, but otherwise, it was pretty cloudy and often quite windy.