Embarking this morning
Before the heat, and with the sun
I ran across the Big 4 Bridge
Knowing I would be back soon
To walk
Because we are better than hate
Running to complete 31 miles for the week, as I enter my 31st year on earth
Sipping coffee with book in hand before my outdoor excursion
I read The Passion Paradox
Eudaimonia, it said
is the “kind of happiness that results not from overwhelming pleasure but from striving to meet one’s full potential by engaging in activities one considers meaningful”
It talked, of harmonious passion
Of a mastery mind-set
Heading out the door
These words reverberated in my mind
I asked what it would mean to further live my values this next year
What evidence did I have that my understanding and relation to the world had already evolved
Over the past 18+ months
I’ve tackled an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and been sober for over 12 months
Sought out therapy
and named and slowly started to unpack an imbalanced relationship at the intersection of body image/eating/perfectionism that I’ve struggled with since my early teens — but more on that another time
This year has brought with it new ways of understanding
Of accountability
Both in how I relate to myself, the stories I author internally
And with others
Of naming what’s unclear to me, that seems so clear to them
And a reconciling of the two
I thought about why I run
And the language I use to describe it
Long ago moving away from being a “marathon runner” to
Running to explore
I don’t run so that I can win marathons
I run because it’s a journey that intersects mind, body, and spirit
It’s a lifelong series of lessons
On adaption as my body changes
On patience
On curiosity
I ran past a group of teens
They collectively looked at me, at each other, back at me
“Good morning,” I said
And back at each other
As I ascended the ramp of the bridge, they broke into a fit of giggles
Immediately
I wondered if the giggles were meant for me
And a narrative started playing
Picking apart my appearance
But wait
Their world-view doesn’t have any impact on my value
In fact, it’s been shaped just like mine
Through whatever they’ve been exposed to
And no more
I looked East, over the railing
As the sun slowly peaked over the horizon
It’s magenta and peach hues cast across water and sky
Peaking through a layer of dark clouds
Why do I love to run in those early hours
As whichever city or place I’m in begins to stir?
Because each morning, the sun creates an experience just for that moment
One that changes each day
The sun’s life spanning millennia
And it presses on
Looking at the moon as it continued it’s journey past Louisville’s skyline
And the sun as it rose over the bridge
I thought about a recent conversation that focused not on a specific outcome
But a vision
Something bigger than one action or initiative
Something without a true culmination
But of ever growing strength and endurance
Removing the running belt from my waist
I knew that the time of its constriction was over
Because it triggered over 15 years of a posture and relation to my body that wasn’t supporting my journey toward 120 good years
Or at least the incremental gains I can achieve by acting now like I’ll have at least that much time
With a quality of life that allows me to feel the joy of running at 100
Running that may just be a quick walk
Or a jog
But nonetheless
Experiencing nature and possibility
Tremendous strides have been made this past year
And the next promises to be no less challenging
For its at the intersection of growth and learning
That we create impact that reaches beyond ourselves
With gratitude -
Josh
About: Josh Miller is a queer changemaker, public speaker, photographer, and outdoor explorer. He is the owner of Josh Miller Ventures and the co-founder + CEO of IDEAS xLab—an organization that uses the art of storytelling and community collaboration to impact public health. Miller’s work has been featured by The New York Times, the Aspen Institute, and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. He is a Soros Equality Fellow, received the 2022 Nonprofit Visionary Leader Award from Louisville Business First, and was selected for Business Equality Magazine’s Forty LGBTQ+ Leaders under 40 and Louisville Business First's Forty under 40. Miller is a two-time TEDx speaker and has been described as a "force in our community.” He holds an MBA from Indiana University and an undergraduate degree from Bellarmine University. Previously, he served as an advisor to the Derby Diversity & Business Summit and co-chair for the Louisville Health advisory board’s communications committee.