This morning I listened to two episodes of Brené Brown's podcast Unlocking Us (https://brenebrown.com/unlockingus) while doing my at-home balance meets ballet workout – one episode on comparative suffering, and one on grief and finding meaning.
I was reminded of my recent tele-therapy session, when my therapist pointed out that we need to give ourselves some grace – especially in times like this. Grace to grieve. Grace to re-define productive. Grace to adapt and find new ways of working, being. Grace with ourselves, and with others.
A few takeaways from the podcasts:
Meaning is not in the death, the meaning is in me. - David Kessler
We cannot compare our suffering. We are all suffering loss, it’s impacting us differently. We can acknowledge that, we can support each other, but my suffering is not better or worse than yours – and vice versa.
Grief is not a linear process, and we all move through it differently. Look for meaningful moments, but don’t use meaning as a way to circumvent grieving.
After listening to the podcasts, I sat down to write – and with tears collecting on my desk, made a list of some of what I’m grieving, things that may only be lost temporarily, others that may be forever impacted. And, moments of meaning I have experienced in the past few weeks.
Grief and loss:
Sitting around our office table laughing hysterically
Hugs of loved ones
Looking in your eyes in person and seeing something bigger than any one of us
Ability to go get what I need / want
Travel
Stability and certainty (as much as we’ve ever been able to have that) for the future, including financial
Feeling like things were clean
People saying Hello! when I run/walk by
In-person group experiences that are part verbal, part body language and part atmosphere
Meaningful Moments:
Date night at waterfront park, eating dinner out of Tupperware with Theo
Art making (and how having a make-shift art-making station in the house)
Mental exercise/challenge of adapting how we work
Zoom birthday celebrations and art making together
Tele-therapy (mentioned above) including visualization/meditation
New physical challenges/strength and an evolving relationship with my body
Weekly conversations through Uncovering video podcast about topics I can passionately about
If you haven't listened to Brené's podcast - highly recommend it. I also found the process of taking a few minutes to think about what I'm grieving, and to lift up meaningful moments as very helpful as we head into another week of change - both personally and professionally.
- Josh
p.s. Artwork is an in-process piece created at the above-mentioned art station. What do you see?
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About: Josh Miller is a queer changemaker, public speaker, photographer, and outdoor explorer. He is the owner of Josh Miller Ventures and the co-founder + CEO of IDEAS xLab—an organization that uses the art of storytelling and community collaboration to impact public health. Miller’s work has been featured by The New York Times, the Aspen Institute, and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. He is a Soros Equality Fellow, received the 2022 Nonprofit Visionary Leader Award from Louisville Business First, and was selected for Business Equality Magazine’s Forty LGBTQ+ Leaders under 40 and Louisville Business First's Forty under 40. Miller is a two-time TEDx speaker and has been described as a "force in our community.” He holds an MBA from Indiana University and an undergraduate degree from Bellarmine University. Previously, he served as an advisor to the Derby Diversity & Business Summit and co-chair for the Louisville Health advisory board’s communications committee.